5hort Bu5
by BlazedStarbon
Summary: For all the kids that don't want to wear the helmet! This story is for you. Based on Halo 3 Live,humour and fun!
1. Peptalk

_Ok, First and foremost, I do NOT own anything related to Halo, Bungie, Microsoft ect… that is copyright to those I mentioned…Secondly, I ask that anyone reading this please don't spam the gamertags mentioned in this story for stupid reasons since they are real people, my friends and teammates for Grifball. _

_The gamer tags are copyright to those individuals and Team 5hort Bu5 is copyright to us as well. I decided to take everything that was said for fun and put it all together with a few minor changes…Can you guess which gamertag is mine? (This is all fiction)_

_Hope you enjoy this and remember : it is just for humour and fun!… _

(Vahalla, Custom Game (or Forge…)- Slayer)

Everyone gathered at the top of the hill near Red base. It was one of the very few times where all eight team members were online at the same time. Some considered it a miracle. Paneerakbari, one of the four tanks on the team, also known as PB, had called a meeting on this Saturday evening in Vahalla shortly after one of his team mates created a group on to keep in touch with everyone.

PB stood leaning against the warthog parked behind him and looked around at his fellow friends and team mates who he's only known for a short period of time. The pale blue colour of his armour grew darker as the sun hid behind the top of Red base. His faceplate darkened as the area shaded. The sun on his back slowly cooled and he let out a sigh…

"First, I can't help myself from being the first to say, even though I was, so far, the last to join the team." Dameon the rogue soldier, butted in, "You weren't the last, I was! What are you talking about?!"

"Let him finish Dameon." Boo Bob warned along with the butt of his shotgun. The red Spartan quickly closed his mouth with unease and irritation that his buddy was threatening to kill him with a single blow. Boo Bob always kept everything in order. Well, at least most of the time. Even as captain, he still had his fair share of fooling around. However, he wasn't in the mood for verbal fighting. There was enough of that between him and Simmons and he didn't want it coming from everyone else. They were all tired after fighting (and winning) the games of Grifball in the double-experience weekend play list. The last game consisted of three General-ranked Spartans and a Commander elite. It was a tough battle but they managed to pull through in the end. Out of twenty games, they only lost three. Now, everyone gathered for a more calmer evening.

"As I was saying, I really wanted to thank you guys and gal for welcoming me in to your group, it is a blast smashing your heads, and I _love_ it when your sword lunges, ball swings, and hammer blows force me out of action for 3 seconds in Grifball. Big thanks to Norman for establishing a group on . I think that with all of the Halo knowledge and skill combined, we can build the website into a terrific reference point and resource on our way to Grifball 2008 Fall Championship!"

Boo Bob eased the shotgun away from Dameon and looked at Norman, "Yeah, thank you Norman for doing what I wanted to do and never did. I hope this group becomes fun for everyone and I hope more people post on the forums like Paneerakbari has. Anyway this has been your captain speaking have a nice evening! I'm out of here!"

He saluted his comrades and headed inside the base for more important matters… Everyone fell silent then scattered in opposite directions, leaving PB with Norman and RoninWrath. Spartan R01, has been undefeatable when it came to handling the ball in a custom game of Grif-haters. He's a more energized player, very accurate and loves carrying the ball and will stop at nothing to score. This player is not only good at trick running in the sport or Grifball, but his actions are almost unpredictable in anything he does. Ronin faced Norman after watching Bob disappear in the base's many side entrances.

"Yeah, props to Norman for the group…I always have a grea-(sound of hammer detonating) Waiting to re-spawn...3...2...1...beep

"Who the f-" (sound of hammer detonating) Waiting to re-spawn...3...2...1...beep

"Ok I dare you to d-" (sound of hammer detonating) Waiting to re-spawn...3...2...1...beep

"COME ON, WHAT THE-" (sound of hammer detonating) Waiting to re-spawn...3...2...1...beep

"Ok that's it-" (sound of hammer detonating) Waiting to re-spawn...3...2...

RoninWrath signed off

Victor: BOO BOB 5-0 (loud resonating laughter) "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!…"

PB and Norman looked at each, then at Bob where Ronin was standing as if there was no care in the world.

"Did you use active camo? Don't tell me that was the only spawn point on this whole map.." Paneerakbari asked carelessly. Boo Bob said nothing. He stared at Norman, gravity hammer in hand thinking over his options.

"Ouch that's gotta hurt...Bob why are you looking at me like that?"

".. ?!"

Norman backed up against the warthog, arms waving in front of him for self-defense. "No don't do it... NOOOOOOOOO!! --" (sound of hammer detonating)

"_The elite makes a post!!" _imp hunter exclaimed to himself. The blue elite turned back to his 360 from Bungie's website and continued playing with his friends. He searched the bottom of Blue base through the equipment and weapons.

"Where's my sniper rifle?.…" he mumbled to himself. After rummaging through some things, he found what he was searching for, leaving a mess before him. The assault combatant eased a new clip with a satisfying _click _and left.

"Ah, there we go…"

He then moved outside and positioned the rifle on top of the wall, steadied his gaze and waited shortly…Peering through the scope he noticed his female friend walking towards the abandoned pelican from the river. He held the trigger lightly and didn't dare make a move. She stopped near the right wing and examined the aged material. This UNSC ship that crashed decades before, was beginning to disintegrate. Her focus was short-lived after a strange feeling of being watched.

The female Spartan turned her gaze towards the base, right where imp hunter was standing. Something rustled through the bushes next to her. She slowly moved her left hand over the shotgun she found in the cave next to this site. Her fingers lightly touched the smooth edges of the barrel, her gaze still focused on the base in the distance. She was more concerned with the small noise next to her but didn't dare make any sudden movements. _"Ronin was right, the hayabusa helmet is very noticeable…" _imp hunter thought to himself. His muscles tensed, eyes locked on their prey, he slowed his heartbeat waiting another millisecond. He held his breath…

(You Sniped Deadly Chikadee)

"WTF?!" Dameon yelled instantly, coming out of hiding next to the pelican, "You get to kill her and I don't?!"

"She looked at me funny!!" imp hunter yelled back and took off to find another hiding spot in the rocks…waiting…

After respawning, Norman came back to face PB after the blow out between the elite and Dameon. It seemed only the two of them could talk peacefully without wanting to go Rambo on their team mates. After all, it was a slayer game.

"No problem Paneer. Just thought that making a group on Bungie would be a good idea for more than one reason."

Deadly Chikadee walked back up to the two guys. PB straightened his back against the warthog. Norman went and sat on the edge of the turret platform, rubbing the side of his neck from the blow.

"Well I have to say Norman that you did put our words into action with this group on Bungie! At least we can count on someone!" She gave a quick pat on his arm.

"We should find a good trick to better time our, meaning the tanks on this team, hammer blows." She sighed, raising her arms in protest. "For some reason I have lost all will to properly "kill" my opponents and lost my positive K/D winning streak during practice. I don't know what happened… " She pulled out an energy sword. Norman and PB watched the sharp, electric weapon come to life with the flick of her wrist. Some of the Covenant's weapons and equipment were far more advanced in technology than the UNSC's. The two realized quickly that the fact didn't matter to their female friend.

"I swear I'm going to neuter that elite if he doesn't stop sniping me!" She said in frustration. It was a constant battle between her and the elite ever since he took up on her offer to catch him and win in every game they played. _...watch your back imp hunter..._ She left in search for him. It was kill, or be killed.

"_That's why the active camo comes in really handy…" _imp hunter thought. He was listening to the whole conversation. All you had to do was push on the D-pad to talk, and anyone could hear you. He laughed to himself at the mere thought of Chikadee even coming close to killing him.

(You picked up Active Camo)

He waited a minute for the camo to take effect and carefully made his way to Red base near the parked warthog at the top of the hill. He hid behind a rock close to the radio antenna.

"...hehehe…" What he forgot was the fact that the active camo disappears after a short period of time. "...crap." The elite looked down as his armour became visible to the naked eye once again. He immediately felt a sharp pain through the lower part of his back. All became dark and silent on screen.

(Deadly Chikadee assassinated you) "...double crap…"

"Oooooo the back of your head!...wait." Norman realized it was too late to notify his friend as the sword slashed through the alienated body. Purple blood splashed against the cool grey, stone of the rocks, and dulled the vibrant green grass. The Spartan meant business, and kept to her word. …_watch you back…_Norman noticed that Chikadee was staring at him. He shook his head to get out of the trance. He didn't have to think twice before making a run for it, leaving Paneerakbari to fend for himself.

"RUN AWAY!!"

He was no match for the speed of the teal soldier. Norman tried to slow her down by running up through the river. Bad idea. He looked over his shoulder, and not being careful, slipped backwards on a rock. All he saw was water glistening the sky and a shiny object swiping through his chest armour…

(Deadly Chikadee killed you)

"...ouch…" (Waiting to Respawn in 3...2...1...beep)

Norman headed back to PB irritated, "Anyway, don't worry about the group site, I'll keep it up to the best of my abilities and time."

Chikadee made her way back to the warthog and soon realized Norman's uneasiness after he respawned. "Sorry about that Norman, I've been on edge all day because of imp hunter. I guess feminine instinct just kicked in and I sensed where he was hiding, then I kind of just needed to continue on a rampage. I guess they don't call me Deadly for nothing!"

Norman relaxed and leaned against a nearby tree. He started to fiddle with his SMG he found two feet away then looked up at Chikadee, "Well, most of the best killers are women. Very easy on the eyes but Deadly on our health."

She sighed. PB began to laugh, "Funny you should mention that Norm. By benefit of being married to a (future) doctor of psychology, I have learned that women tend to have a natural aptitude for tasks that require multiple muscular systems, better visual acuity, and faster reaction times. These traits combined, give them a greater potential for more accurate twitch reflexes; the kind of reflexes most suited to marksmanship, especially with rifles. My wife also owns an M-1 Carbine, which makes me more than a little terrified. But it's cool."

"You know what? I wish I owned an M-1 Carbine." imp hunter stated randomly. He walked up to the group after retrieving his sniper rifle by the stained rocks. He examined the weapon through the scope and aimed at his assassinator's helmet.

"You're lucky I guess...he he." He lowered the weapon and turned to face PB. "But more importantly, is the most important effort of running away in cowardice and fear of the battle goddess/witch/feminine tank extraordinaire--"

(RoninWrath killed imp hunter)"...why me??" …Waiting to Respawn yet again…

"Because I felt like it!" Ronin yelled from Red base. "Besides you were in the way."He threw a Spike grenade toward Boo Bob who was making his way back toward the others. Ronin jumped from the top of the wall and ran after him.

_Hang time counter 1...2...3...4..5..._

(Whack…click, click…BOOM)(Double kill)

"WHAT? , -blam!-?"

(You stuck BOO BOB)

Norman was thrown back from the blow of the grenade and tried to regain balance but was hit from behind.

(you killed Norman Hanson) "Sorr.…" (boom, headshot)

(imp hunter sniped you)

Waiting to Respawn...3...2...1...beepRonin respawned in the center of the field. "How the hell did you make it to the sniper rifle so fas.…" (boom headshot)

(Boo Bob sniped you)

Waiting to Respawn...3...2...1...beep…

Meanwhile, Boo Bob, Imp Hunter and Norman Hanson all stood next to the warthog again, armed with sniper rifles. Bob steadied his rifle towards the center hill where they placed a laser, and the only spawn point."Did I forget to mention that this is Forge? NOT a custom game?! Why do you guys think the spawn points keep moving?? BOOM, head shot!" He laughed with amusement.

"Hey that was totally my kill!" Imp hunter exclaimed.

Norman smirked through his helmet. "Hey he respawned! BOOM! Haha! Correction, _was_ respawned."

"So, lightning round?" imp hunter asked. Norman and Bob nodded their heads slightly in unison to the elite's statement. Imp hunter saw Ronin yet again, respawning in the same spot. "Oh, he spawning--"

(Deadly Chikadee assassinated you) He never finished that sentence.

"What the-" Bob looked away from his rifle to where his buddy was standing.

(Deadly Chikadee beat down Boo Bob) - double kill

Norman began a half run and managed to take 3 steps. "AH! runaw.."

(Deadly Chikadee assassinated Norman Hanson) - Triple Kill

"Oh yeah! Triple Kill!...That's what I'm talking about! Now to find Ronin…" She headed to a small cave near the rundown pelican and picked up active camo then switched to a gravity hammer. She looked out into the field and saw Dameon join Paneerakbari back at the warthog near territory three. The Spartan made her way back through Red base, up the hill and past the three lifeless bodies near the passenger seat of the warthog. Dameon started protesting as usual over nonsense while Paneerakbari listened half-heartedly. Chikadee stood straight and raised her hammer at the two Spartans. The camouflage slightly rippled against the dark features of the warthog from her movement. "Let's make this a killing spr--" (sound of hammer detonating)

"Die witch!! Hahahahaha!!" Simmons swung his hammer and hit her from behind before she was able to detonate hers. The warthog flipped on its side from the blow, the windshield cracked and the tough steel dented inward as the Spartan's body impacted the side with tremendous force. Smoke eased from the engine.

(Waiting to Respawn 3...2...1...…)

…The screen froze at 1 second.

"What the f --..."

imp hunter made his way back to retrieve his sniper rifle yet again. It's one thing to mess with this elite's sniping once, but twice? Well, it's all part of the fun in receiving killjoys, multiple deaths, the body count skyrocketing in the same area and an unlimited supply of ammunition as long as the sprees continue.

"…Grr… I was enjoying the lightning round too...I remember the order : bob, me, norman, me, me, bob, me, norman, simmons, me, me, me, ronin, me, bob, norman, me, and last but not least…me." He held up his rifle with pride, " and on a side note, I might need to find a tar --" He heard the sound of a sword swinging behind him, pausing mid-sentence.

(Deadly Chikadee assassinated you) Waiting to Respawn …3...2...1...beep!

He let out a sigh, "…there goes the lightning round, again.."

Imp hunter headed back to Blue base. Standing at the top of the hill wasn't a good idea unless you thought duck, duck, goose was an option to consider. The young Commander took his time walking back. There was no rush except that buddies were flying, grenades being flown overhead, warthogs and mongooses becoming airborne and a lot, and I mean a lot of yelling through headsets. A disgrace to the good listener and heaven for the underground talkers. This elite was one permissive guy.

" doo de doo dum doodley do be doo.…"

(you were splattered by paneerakbari) Waiting to Respawn in...3...2...1...beep!.

"..not cool."

Ronin turned to Paneerakbari in awe as his buddy slowed to a stop at the back of Blue base.

"Wow he actual stood there and took it!" Ronin was shocked with fear and amazement all at once. He got an idea, "Where is Simmons…" PB was about to answer, "Oh shh! Red dot, red dot, red dot, red do--BOOM!"

(Dameon101 lasered you) Waiting to Respawn in...3...2...1...

"Mother.…" (Beep)

"What the? Bob?...…" (Beep)

"imp?...…" (Beep)

"Norman?...…" (Beep)

"Dameon?...…" (Beep)

"Chikadee?.…" (Beep)

"Simmons?...…" (Beep)

"Why the hell did we spawn next to each other?" He looked at everyone on both sides of him confused. Something wasn't right. The spawn points were aligned next to each other instead of the soul one in the center of the field. Ronin did another head check. Only one person was missing…

"Do you here something?" imp hunter asked wearily from respawing for the umpteenth time.

Bob and Chikadee stared at their surroundings. "Yeah.. What the hell is that?"

Everyone began looking around for the source of the disturbance. There were no aircrafts and nothing visible was moving anywhere in the distance. No vehicles were on patrol either. Ronin and Simmons stepped forward in front of the others. Simmons jumped on Ronin's shoulders and looked over the hill.

"…?!…rockets…ROCKETS! "

"Where--"

(Paneerakbari killed SimmonsL09)(Paneerakbari killed RoninWrath)(Paneerakbari killed Dameon101)(Paneerakbari killed Deadly Chikadee)(Paneerakbari killed Boo Bob)(Paneerakbari killed imp hunter)(Paneerakbari killed Norman Hanson)

"HAHAHAHAH... They actual stood there!" PB exclaimed with satisfaction. "HAHA Killimanjaro! Yes."

_(starting new round…) _

"It's fun to see everyone likes to be a teamkilling ftard like me. I'm happy!" Ronin protested with glee.

"No it doesn't. That just means you're insane." imp hunter corrected.

"Either way it still works with this."

"Yah, you got me there, but look at this…" imp hunter pulled out his energy sword and waved it in front of Ronin's faceplate."Ohhh, shiny!" He went to touch the blade.

(imp hunter killed you) Waiting to Respawn in...3...2...1...beep

Ronin cursed under his breath. "Fhead.."

"Don't think so.. " Norman chased after PB with his own set of rockets and let a couple fire at his friend running off ahead.

(You killed Paneerakbari) You ended Paneerakbari's spree.

"Woot!" The Spartan did a little dance next to his fallen prey. Within a matter of seconds, a metal bar was shoved into his lower spine and Norman went flying 80 feet across the rough terrain and lay motionless.

"Oh...crap.…"

(Boo Bob splattered you) Waiting to Respawn in 3...2...1...

"Well, I guess I'm last." Simmons declared. He stood tall in the center of the hill, straightened his back, head held high. "Always save the best for last, but yah!! Go Team 5hort Bu5!!" He shot a fist in the air.

"_Yeah, it's always good to save the best for last...always…" _Chikadee thought. She checked the condition of a few vehicles parked behind Blue base. An idea popped in her head. "Hey Simmons! You mind standing by the laser for a minute?"

"Umm, ok...but I'm killing."

"Do whatever, just don't move until I give the signal...you're going to help me beat the others..."...Meanwhile at Red base..."What's he doing out there?" Bob asked.

Imp hunter gazed through the sniper rifle at the crimson Spartan standing in the center of the field. "Dunno, he's just standing out in the open…"

"What an idiot." Ronin stated while picking up a missile pod. He jumped on top of the wall and waited…...Simmons was beginning to get impatient. He noticed the guys at the base through the scope of the laser and began charging the hot chemical to a deep red. "What's taking you so long Chikadee?...uh, Chikadee?.…" He heard a high pitched horn getting closer from behind. Simmons allowed the laser to cool down and turned around ready to hitch a ride. He took a step back as an approaching mongoose came roaring towards him at full speed.

"OHMYGODWHATAREYOU DOI--"

(Deadly Chikadee splattered you) Waiting to Respawn..3...2...1...beep...

(Achievement unlocked: Mongoose Mowdown)

"It's about time too!...thanks Simm--!" A flamming mongoose soared in the air after an impact with the Spartan and an explosion.

(RoninWrath killed you)

Ronin laughed at the sight before him in the distance, "Sorry Chikadee but you got in the way! Besides, you can only get that in a ranked free for all game!"

Ronin was too busy laughing, he didn't realize imp hunter and Boo Bob backing up inside the base. The flamming mongoose crashed into the fusion coil next to him on top of the wall.

(Deadly Chikadee killed you from the grave) - double kill

Simmons respawned at the back of Red base. He sneaked into the back entrance where the elite and Bob took refuge from being killed. "BOYEA!"

(You assassinated imp hunter)

"Oh yeah, this is fun." Simmons looked down at the elite's motionless body and hit it with the butt of his assault rifle numerous times. A shadow quickly covered the area. He looked behind him and was faced with the tip of a shotgun at his faceplate. "Oh…my…god…" He dropped his assault rifle to the floor in disbelief with what was going to happen.

(You were killed by Boo Bob) Waiting to respawn in 3...2...1..beep…

"What happened?" imp hunter asked confused. Chikadee looked at him as he walked back up to them near the caves.

"I think you died." She stated.

"...OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP!!" Imp hunter ran away in circles running for his dear life. Norman headed for a stroll after the elite. He took his time walking around and following his friend.

"Doo do do do dee do do dooooo dooooo doooooo..…" Norman started humming a favourite tune. Dameon came up behind him and started mimicking his actions. The red soldier grew tired quickly.

(Dameon101 beat down Norman Hanson)

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAaaaaaa…"

(RoninWrath sniped Dameon101)

"Ha, ha-" He changed his clip and looked through the scope again and was faced with fire and burnt metal.

(SimmonsL09 lasered RoninWrath)

"Ha, that's right you back up, that's right...WITC-" Simmons looked up at his female friend through the laser just before he got a fist in the face.

(Deadly Chikadee beat down SimmonsL09)

"Ha! They don't call me deadly fo-"

(Boo Bob splattered Deadly Chikadee) The soldier was pinned right between the warthog and a nearby tree.

"Bow chika honk honk!" Bob backed up and drove off out of sight.

...and nobody kills Bob due to extreme Warthog-ness.….Ronin perched himself on top of the pelican after respawning (again) and lied flat on his stomach. He positioned the sniper rifle to eye level and held his breath.

(RoninWrath sniped Boo Bob) (RoninWrath sniped Imp Hunter)

"Yes, and with one bullet no less. Why, You ask? Because you jacked up my name chocobo."

(Waiting to Respawn in 3...2...1...beep!) Imp hunter was getting impatient again. "OK! I get it! Don't misspe--(Roninwrath sniped you)

(Waiting to Respawn in 3...2...1...beep!) "...I give up."

T_hat's it for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it thus far and feedback will be great. Again, this is just for fun, I'm not trying to be serious with this story. Anyways, I have to thank my friends on my grifball team, 5hort Bu5: Norman Hanson, Boo Bob, Imp hunter, RoninWrath, Paneerakbari, SimmonsL09, and Dameon101 for their witty and dry sense of humour while in forge, and custom games…without them, this story would not exist! _


	2. System Error

(High Ground - Slayer. A few days later…)

_A tanned EVA soldier walked back and forth in the ruins of a radio station. Three accomplices watched the Spartan as he thought of his next lines. There have been problems associated with allied connections and there was a high demand for a solution._

Paneerakbari held his hands behind his back and faced his fellow comrades. He examined each soldier from one to the other. They were eager to hear some suggestions.

"Over the last couple months, and especially in the past few weeks, I'm sure we've all noticed a pretty severe lack of connectivity among the players. I'm stating this to assemble our collective knowledge of networking and connectivity."He paused a moment, then continued, "First things first, if you have access to the router on your home network go into your settings and open port **3074 UDP**. This should make your NAT 'Open'. There are a number of ways in which to perform this action, so if you are having trouble, send me a message, gaming-related or otherwise and I will help."

Simmons blankly stared at PB. The sun was hot and the ultraviolet radiation was being absorbed through his crimson armor. It became difficult to focus on the discussion while standing in the sun and his friend in the shade. Simmons tried his best to analyze the information that was shoved into his head from the lecture all afternoon.

"Yo, you want me to kill a NAT??" He asked confused. The soldier walked up to the table where the electronic equipment was placed. He examined some of the electronics.

"Wow Simmons!" Chikadee exclaimed with amusement. She couldn't help but laugh at her friend's interesting response. Paneerakbari leaned against a table and crossed his arms over his chest. Chikadee turned to him.

"What I don't understand is why would Xbox live not allow me to connect with a few players who have their NAT "Open" when mine is open as well. My router is wired but all ports are open. When I run the test on my Xbox, it shows my connection is Open. So why won't it let me join a party when the leader has an open connection, but their router is wireless?" She paused, thinking over her question, "Would having an open wired connection compared to an open wireless be a source of error for player connectivity?"

PB processed her question while watching Simmons' unusual behaviour examining the devices present. "Different routers are going to behave differently, individually and together. There may have been some miscommunications and some strange quirks that arise with it, Live and other players. There really isn't a whole lot that can be done about it. For me, my old router (some PoS from CompUSA), had such sophisticated settings that the NAT was opened by clicking a link in its control dialog. My new(er) router is a D-Link Wireless with 4 wired ports, it's also on the list of devices that are compatible with Xbox Live. Despite having the router set to an open NAT, and Xbox Live identifying it as open, the Halo 3 servers still classified me as restricted. Once I opened that port in the router settings everything opened across the board. I should point out that just because your router may not be on that list, it doesn't mean that it won't work."

"Makes sense. Well, thanks for the info. I'll go see what else I can find." She left.

Imp hunter stationed himself on the roof of the abandoned radio station above his friends. He saw his friend leave through the gates and hollered after her. "All you had to do was press ctrl-alt-delete!…gosh." He sat down after waiting a moment for a response he was never going to get. Simmons shot a few rounds of ammunition in the ceiling. "Like that would have worked. That has nothing to do with the internet!"

"Well, I really have no clue on how to fix internet connectivity. That's all I know. So I'm going to sit here and twiddle my thumbs." Imp hunter yelled back. He started humming a tune.

RoninWrath moved outside and looked up at the elite on the roof. He pulled out his sniper rifle and aimed his gaze. He processed the information from Paneerakbari's lecture. He analyzed the data, trying to make sense of everything. There was only one solution he had in mind. "You want me to kill imp hunte??"

…_Somewhere in the state of Missouri…_

"You want me to kill imp hunte??" Ronin couldn't finish after coming to an abrupt stop, staring at his screen…

..._ERROR_.._…ERROR.._..._ERROR…_

"Oh f-- wait…" He tossed his controller to the ground and looked over at his computer screen…

..._ERROR…_

"No no no no NO!" He rushed to his desk. The same words flashed on the computer screen as well as his television.

..._ERROR_…_ERROR_…_ERROR_…

"Not you too!" He yelled, rapidly typing on the keyboard trying to access anything that was available. Nothing was working, the screen had froze and messages were beginning to pop up.

..._A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer. _

"F--k! Dammit!" He was becoming impatient since not even two weeks earlier, he received the Red Ring of Death and just got it fixed only days before this occurrence. He read the messages.

_The problem seems to be caused by the following file: HOW TO KILL AN ELITE.SYS_

_PAGE-FAULT-IN-NON-PAGED-IMAGE-AREA_

_If this is the first time you've seen this Stop Error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again, YOU ARE F--ED._

_Check to make sure any new hardware or software is properly installed. If this is a new installation, ask your hardware or software manufacturer for any Windows updates you might need. If problems continue, disable or remove any newly installed hardware or software. Disable BIOS memory options such as caching or shadowing. If you need to use Safe Mode to remove or disable components, restart your computer, press F8 to select Advanced Start-up Options, and then select Safe Mode._

Technical information:

-- STOP: 0x00000050 (0xFD3094C2, 0x00000001, 0xFBFE7617, 0x00000000)

-- HOW TO KILL AN ELITE.SYS - Address FBFE7617 base at FBFE5000, DateStamp 7d7dd08c

"F--, Dammit! that's,...this whole f--ing week sucks! That's it!" Ronin ran to the closet, brought out his tool box on the floor, and took out a sledgehammer.

"_I can't let you do that Ronin!" _An audio voice protested. RoninWrath looked up with shock.

"WTF?" He took a step forward in disbelief that his computer was actually talking to him.

_"Charging defensive systems."_

Ronin began to swing the hammer but stalled as the computer fired at him through the system. He fell to the floor slightly charred and smelling of smoke. He was becoming aggravated.

"F-- you Tower!" He got up and made a second attempt with the sledgehammer. The computer fired again instantly. Ronin was shot back across the room into the sofa.

_"Threat eliminated." _

SLEEP MODE ENGAGED.

He got up, wiping a little blood from a broken nose. He looked up at his computer shutting down automatically.

"F- ...CK... Y...OU." He slowly made his way back to the computer, sledgehammer in hand.

_"Reactivating systems."_

"F-- THAT!" RoninWrath swung the hammer at the computer smashing Tower to pieces. All that was left was a pile of debris. He felt a sense of relief the box and hard drive were destroyed. In a blink of an eye, the monitor came to life.

"…what the?_…"_

_"Good Bye, WRATH."_

...3...

...2...

"F-- ME SIDEWAYS!" He yelled back, not quite sure what was going to happen. The sledgehammer fell from his hands and he to his knees, mentally exhausted. RoninWrath buried his face in his hands only hoping for this nightmare to end.

...1...

…_A cameraman positioned himself behind his displayed electronics and looked through the lenses. Outside in a park, a news reporter was filming an interview for the weather station with local residences. Seen in the distant background through the lens, a mushroom cloud was beginning to form…_


End file.
